well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You made out with two different species that night
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
