if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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