His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
