I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
