He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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