YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
