Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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