it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
