One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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