TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
