Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I FOUND THE LEGS
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
