one two three fourrrrnication!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
