Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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