Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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