Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
