My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
