He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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