if i can run in heels then i can drive
literally had 100 drinks last night.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
