I puked a lego.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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