Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize