YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
