Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
