I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
