I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
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This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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