im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
