didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
