The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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