My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
