hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I did not marry a roomba.
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