i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
