Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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