I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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