And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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