She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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