your room smells of hookers.
And success
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
