Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
