nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize