Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
