dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
