I'm going to jail i love you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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