I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
