i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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