Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
