Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
