My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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