I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
