and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
