and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
