She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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