So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just pee around me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
