oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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