we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
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Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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