Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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