Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
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I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize