she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
