the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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