Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
