Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
