Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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