The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
