it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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