don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
