I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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